On my mat

Only beginning my yoga teacher training yesterday, I already feel I have learned so much. But what has become most apparent to me is gratitude for my body, just as it is, no more, no less. 

For someone that has struggled with body image and self-confidence since childhood, I have found nothing else that has brought me to this place of total love and gratitude for my physical self. Rather than viewing it as something that is broken, not right, too big, too soft, not enough of this or that, I see it as the beautiful form that it is. A marriage between breath and movement, position and alignment, surrender and rejoice. Muscles, joints, blood, nerves, senses, strength, form, function, heart, mind,  and spirit. It is so perfect and I am eternally grateful to it for allowing me to participate in life. 

After a long and strenuous practice, when I am offering my body a chance to rest and relax, I just want to kiss every inch of it, as a mother would a child that has just done something that he or she is proud of. When I am at the end of my practice, I recognize, more clearly, that my body is simply the carrier of my mind and spirit. They are in fact separate, but exist as one and I appreciate my body more than ever.

On my mat, I feel strong and capable but also humble and honest. Quieting my mind so that I can focus on my body, on every nuance of each joint and muscle, brings me directly to my purpose -- uncovers my truth. When I am on my mat, I have not a single doubt about the path that I am on and who I am meant to be in this life. The most difficult part of any practice is to carry this understanding with me when I step off my mat and into the world. 

Yoga has opened a door to self love that I did not know existed inside of me. For this, if for nothing else, I am grateful.