It's been a strange time moving back to this place I've tried so hard to escape. Coming from a place of pure solitude where my surroundings were simply a backdrop to what was happening inside me, I find that attempting to reintegrate myself into this life a bit challenging. I've been noticing subtle changes in my encounters with people and my relationship to my environment. It seems that in surgically removing myself from the comforts of what was to making an attempt at reinventing myself into these same comforts has forced me to reconcile much of my own belief systems. Perhaps I've changed to some degree but I am finding that I have actually solidified my own beliefs and sense of self and am less willing to allow them to be shaken.
After a recent and unexpected encounter with a familiar face (only that until this point) I recognize, more so than ever before, that I have my feet firmly planted on the ground. I have certain beliefs or ideologies that cannot be easily shaken. Truthfully, I am thankful for this new understanding. I have certain expectations of others based on the expectations I have for myself. This, perhaps, is no different from most people, however, I recognize that my belief systems are well-founded on experience and the acquisition of knowledge. I have more respect for a difference of opinion when the evidence presented is of equal or greater value than my own. Of course, this means that I am the sole judge of the value base of the argument being presented to me. This may lead some to believe that I feel I have a sense of superiority over their own ideas or ways of thinking but in my own defense, I base my judgments on the premise that people are taking advantage of the obvious access to information we are blessed with in this day and age. We have access to information. Everyone does. And if you are not using that to your own advantage then I don't have a lot of tolerance for your arguments.
Ignorance is bliss. I believe this as much as I believe that we, as Canadians and otherwise, have a moral responsibility to inform ourselves of the current state of affairs, both locally and globally, and to do what we can to contribute to the betterment of the world. This doesn't mean that every person, myself included, needs to strip themselves and their lives of all luxury and comfort but it does mean that you need to take into account that your actions and decisions do affect others to some degree. That what we do here affects what they do there. And herein lies the grand contradiction: us and them. Us. And. Them.
Too many people simply accept this notion, us and them, as the norm without ever questioning the validity or the justice in this thinking. It's absurd. Yes, absurd and if you can convince me that the current state of the world, where the disparity between rich and poor continues to widen, is okay or that the current state of economics is beneficial to everyone then great, but hear this: I am open to having my mind changed about many things, most things, but you best be equipped with a solid argument or rebuttal to change my mind. To the fellow who claimed that I am cemented in my ways I say, perhaps but I believe that I have good reason to go about my ways, just as you or anyone else in the world does. Does this mean I am not willing to change my ways? For the most part, yes. I choose this life because I believe in it and I believe that it is serving the greater good and serves some, if only minute, purpose. I believe my 'ways' to be based on the notions of compassion, empathy, justice and, of course, in value the of critical thinking. I don't claim to have it exactly right or to be on the road to perfection but I certainly know where I stand on most things and as the cute and sweet sounding Jeremy Fisher says, 'if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.'
Truth be told, I want to be challenged. I long for conversations and discussions where I feel my very being is being challenged and, therefore, changed. What is life without change?
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