Journal excerpts on the topic of Online Dating [October 2009]

Here are some excerpts from my journal about my weak attempt at online dating last year. It's come up a bit lately and so it's been on my mind. It's something I tried and just couldn't get my head around, this virtual world of dating. It's not for me and in saying this I am not judging anyone that chooses to date in this way or has found love in this manner. It's just not something I am interested in. I am believer in things happening as they should and that if I am meant to be alone, then so be it. I am not going to push the proverbial 'enter' button to find love. I also believe that it will find me. Or better yet, if my heart is meant to be with another, they will find each other. Corny? Maybe, but for me it's better than having to rummage through the hoards of emails one receives when online dating from men that I would rather not know. I will trust my gut when it comes to love... not the picture of the good looking guy taking a photo of himself in front of the mirror.

These are not complete. The writing I mean. Just pieces of something I obviously started and didn't finish. Perhaps I'll make an attempt at narrowing down my thoughts on this subject one day. For now, this is all I've got...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

In my recent attempt to online date (which lasted a total of 37 hours) I was exposed to a world of men that I surely never knew existed. Or at least, never cared to know existed! What I’ve realized is that exhibiting yourself on the world wide web is about as superficial and egocentric as fake tits and a spray tan. Let me clarify.

The Online Experiment           

Just over a week ago I took the online dating plunge. I jumped, struggled for air, got seaweed tangled in my hair and headed straight for dry land. I lasted a total of 37 hours, but not without arranging just one ‘meet and greet.’ I was pleasantly surprised and never heard from him again. This left me wondering if perhaps the online dating empire has changed the face of dating forever.

With online dating on the rise and barhopping and debauchery being so last year, it seems to me that the rules of dating are significantly changing. The expectations have shifted and men and women are playing on an even larger field than ever before.

Has this generation taken the act of dating from the front doorstep to nightclub bathroom stall?

I want to know why young, educated, well-occupied, good-looking people are heading straight for the mouse and keyboard and not outside their front door. And the only way to find out for sure (or at least to satisfy my curiosity) is to get my hands dirty and exhibit myself on the wonderful World Wide Web.

My own preliminary opinion? On the fence, but mostly on the side of superficiality and egocentrism. I have no doubt that there are good, humble, intelligent people perusing this very website looking for love or something like it but I also wonder if perhaps it is just another facet of our society’s obsession with appearances, unattainable perfection, over-consumption and fairytale endings.

**note** In trying to find myself a satisfactory answer, I have taken a look at a good number of profiles, men and women alike. I am sad. What happened to good grammar and spelling? Has the use of computers created a lackadaisical and languid grammar culture? There is a difference between their and there, too and to, your and you’re. Referring to oneself in a sentence, a capital ‘I’ is used. A computer can make even the world’s worst speller and grammatical dunce look like a writing genius. And kudos to the men that recognize that topless photos taken in front of a mirror are hilarious and unnecessary.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The online dating experiment has been established. I have received several encouraging messages, mostly commending me for my thoughts on dating, my intelligence or giving me a ‘virtual’ pat on the head telling me that ‘he’s’ out there, don’t give up. Of course, there have also been some genuine attempts at answering my question. The one I liked most was where a man claimed online dating to be shorthand, or condensed dating. This makes sense.

Given that most people sit somewhere in the middle of the normal spectrum, they are very likely to be or at least feel busy with their lives. There are meetings to be had, lattes to be ordered, yoga boot camps to attend and trips to be taken. We live in a world where the more you have going on, the more you are respected and thought to be a ‘go-getter.’ Because let’s face it, being anything less than a go-getter is nothing short of lazy or unmotivated.