As I approach my 30th year I am still faced with this business of accepting the life of a singleton and I feel that this short piece of writing, that I wrote almost exactly a year ago, still holds true for me. So, as an ode to being 30 and single.This is an oldy, but a goody! Some of you may remember this rant...
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
In our ongoing attempt to find love and companionship, do we (as women?) foolishly throw away most or all of our aspirations?
As I trudge along through single girl life, I can’t help but feel the pressure to be in a couple. It is surely the most frequently asked question among singletons everywhere. People are never as happy to hear that you have a good job or great friends or a place of your own. They want to hear that you have a man in your life and when you tell them (with stern authority in your voice) that you do not, there is a certain sympathy that oozes out of their pores. As if to say that without a man, I cannot be whole.
Women everywhere, who are now entering their 30s or have already landed into womanhood, have been taught from birth that we can have it all. That we should never settle for less than our dreams. That we should get an education, get a great job, be fiercely independent, own our own homes, travel, have an opinion and always wear clean underwear. I have followed all of the rules. I have made up my own rules and am living an exceptionally full life. And I am still single and comfortable with this. It seems to me that it is the rest of the free world that gets a rash over the idea of a grown woman not having someone to share this with.
By no means am I saying that I vehemently oppose having a male companion. In fact, I would love to have a warm body to fall asleep beside, someone to call when my boss has undermined me yet again or to change my oil in my ancient car. But facts are facts and I have no person in my life that fits the bill. I keep hearing mutterings of how I shouldn’t plan on traveling too far or for too long because I just might meet someone along the way. That I should stay put, perhaps hold my breath, and my proverbial knight in shining armour will surely come along and sweep me off my calloused feet. I should plan my life, in the here and now, on the eventuality of being in a relationship.
I am putting my foot down. Clenching my iron fist in my velvet glove. I will not give up on my own life in the hopes of finding true love. I am certainly a dreamer and believe in real, committed, mutual love but until I actually find it, or it finds me, I will carry on with my footloose and fancy-free life. It’s the only life I have.
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